I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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