I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
