Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
