Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Everclear isn't food dammit
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
