I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
