But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
