fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
