You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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