Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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