bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
