That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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