I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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