I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
