that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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