I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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