So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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