If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
