We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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