guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
