Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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