I'm really into asian looking animals
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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