Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
