apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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