you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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