Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
