Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
