i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
