On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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