you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
