Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
