You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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