Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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