pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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