My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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