I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
