peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mom said you looked used
sick fucks of a feather flock together
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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