What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
