I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
