I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
