yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
