where does the pee come out of this thing
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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