Four minutes until I can fart!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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