I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
