i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
