Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
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At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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