That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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