We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
