I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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