There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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