I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
