Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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