Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
