Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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