I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
