This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
